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Is my mind leaving me? I know it’s here, but not like it used to be. My thoughts are not as clear lately, my motivation and determination not as intense. What is happening to me? Is this just a momentary change, or the beginning of my decline (I am turning 30 soon, you know?!?)
At times I am so impatient. Resentment brews when I feel slighted or taken advantage of. My heart is not where I desire it to be. Sin grows ever stronger as the purity of my heart floats in murky water.
GOD! Rescue me. I cling to the only thing that is immovable when all else around me seems like shifting sand. Take the world from me and leave me naked and bare, but never let me lose my grip on you. Blind and deaf am I, but never may my spirit wonder from your grace.
Lord, I need thee every hour. As my pride swells may you be there to humble me. Shattered and torn, abandoned and desolate this world has left me, but in desperation I cling to thee. Your grace is sufficient. Help me to rest in you.
-Scott
1 comment:
Hi Scott,
We have never met. A friend of mine sent me your blog page recently. I am deeply touched by your commitment to Uganda and God's work there, but more by your honesty and openness in sharing your spiritual struggles.
The pastor in our church talked about spiritual seasons, which apparently everyone Christian, no matter how devoted and faithful, will have to go through. Sometimes the spiritual winter, which seems so dull and long, is when we grow the most. Have you ever read John Bunyan's "A Pilgrim's Progress"? It is written in old English, but it touches deeply on the spiritual journey and all the struggles that a devoted Christian (perhaps John Bunyan himself) has gone through, and I hope that you will find it helpful as much as I did.
I will keep you in my prayers.
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