Grief and Joy

27 October 2009

Grief and Joy

A few mornings ago I woke up discontent, something I am not usually prone to, but nonetheless it was the state of mind that morn. As I lay in bed I consider the day ahead – rounding on the pediatric ward, playing with the local kids, greeting neighbors, cooking a meal for Uganda friends, and trying to write some. All good prospects on most days, however I left a very sickle and fragile child, Aligonilia, clinging to life on the pediatric ward the day before and was fearful he may have departed this world during the night. His plight worsened in knowing that I attended the burial of his brother, Ammon, the day I arrived in Uganda nearly one month ago. His other brother, Daniel, also a very good friend to me, died one week after I left Uganda in 2008. Aligonilia’s father, Chris, has lost six children in his lifetime. I cannot imagine losing one child, let alone six. My limited perspective sights this as too much grief for any one person to bear.

When I arrived on the pediatric ward I found Aligonilia alive and somehow better, though still very ill. My heart leapt to see him sitting up and moving, something unlikely only one day before. I thanked God to see his face again, here, alive on this earth.

When I went home later that day, I asked some of the local kids, Aligonilia’s friends, if they would help me make a giant get well poster. It was awesome! The kids gladly obliged and went to work coloring, painting, and plastering stickers on the sign. Two of the children involved in creating the poster came with me to the pediatric ward to deliver it to Aligonilia. He smiled when he saw the poster and he saw his friends. It was a joy to see.

Aligonilia is still sick, still very anemic, and still on the pediatric ward, but he is smiling now and able to walk around. There is joy in redemption, there is joy in life, but I must not forget that experiencing the grief makes the joy somehow sweeter and fuller. God’s plans are not mine, and I must respect them whatever they are. I am beginning to experience and praise God more in grief and weakness, whereas before I only thanked him in times of joy. It is a difficult thing for me to learn, but God is revealing more of himself through the process. So in and for grief and joy, I thank God.